Almost Miraculous

{photo by Melissa Piccola}

This past August, our inaugural Matrilumina gathering was blessed in many ways – we had gorgeous weather and stunning surroundings, and also managed to bring together a circle of women who connected deeply, powerfully and joyfully. Considering this was the first time many of us had met in person, I find it almost miraculous.

Almost. 

Before I go further, I’d like to share the details of how and why we gathered this first group the way we did. When contemplating the idea for a retreat at Esalen Institute, Pixe, Maya and I were experiencing a mild sense of anxiety about diving into the deep end right off the bat. The only dates for a five-day retreat Esalen could offer us at the time was in August – a tricky month to gather people in my experience – and once our names were in ink on the contract, we would be responsible for the cost of all 21 beds whether or not we filled them.

The other part of our reticence had to do with our passion for the vision we were creating. It was very important to us that our offering be rock solid – organized, well thought-out, in alignment with our anchors and fully rehearsed. Not to mention this was the first time the three of us had collaborated on anything. To offer an intimate, five-day “personal transformation” retreat to the tune of more than $2000 without the knowledge and experience of how our ideas would really play out wasn't sitting well with us. We still had work to do, and felt strongly enough about this that we came within inches of telling Esalen we weren’t going to be facilitating an event after all.

Before letting the opportunity go, we headed back to Big Sur for another weekend of brainstorming, heartstorming, visualizing and meditation. We weighed the pros and cons, discussed ideas for marketing, and mapped out possibilities on giant sheets of newsprint. And in the middle of it – a thought:  What if, for this first event, we created our circle and offered it at a cost that would cover our expenses and nothing more. With this, we accomplish three very important goals:

1. We create an opportunity for ourselves to do our very best work – to give the whole thing a try - in the company of women we know well and wouldn’t judge us if we experienced a few fumbles.
2. We open a financial release valve by offering the August gathering at a reduced rate - with no profit to us - making it more financially flexible for our guests.
3. We give ourselves more time to see how well we’d work together and to confirm whether or not this was something we really wanted to pursue for the long term.

With all that, when the question “What’s the worst that could happen?” arose, the answer was:  Nothing. We were going to host a retreat – just one retreat – and then see where the wind wanted to take us. So we started sharing the idea quietly, and sold out within two weeks. There were a few changes to our roster over the ensuing months, but by the time we gathered on Sunday, August 12^th, our circle was complete. Partly by our efforts, partly by grace.

This was not an exclusive gathering meant to keep anyone out. This was a test run. This was to see how all the details we had painstakingly lined up would play out in real time. This was to get it all dialed in, so that if we decided to keep going with it, our offering to our community would be rock solid.

When I say the genuine sisterhood that came to be during those five days in August is almost miraculous, I am referring to the anchors that have been guiding us every step of the way – our values, our guideposts. It is said that “like attracts like”, and so I have to give credit to the way our anchors provided the pathway for this particular group of twenty women to find their way to each other and form the bond we did. They were drawn not only by who we are - by knowing us personally - but also by what we were doing and how we were doing it. 

Very often these stories become fairy tales – too good to be true, too glittery, too much gushing, too much fawning. This story is not a fable; it is the experience of twenty women – all wounded, all flawed, all powerful beyond words and beautiful beyond belief – entering a room having already made the choice to connect, engage, exchange and interact from a place of respect, kindness, love and compassion. And gratitude. So much gratitude. Their anchors were our anchors; ours, theirs. We were already connected before we met in person, just as we are now - right now - already connected to everyone who chooses to join us in March.

We hosted a “trial run” to see if this idea could really work – to see if such a passionate adherence to our anchors could, indeed, create the kind of sisterhood we were craving for ourselves. We wanted to see what might happen if we provided a safe and nurturning space that could encourage a little mischief, some ferocious dreaming and plenty of rest and laughter. Would it work? Could we pull it off? The day our retreat ended, we had our answer.

It is real. It is possible. It is happening right now.

Blessings...Christine

Comments

[jennette]

ohhh this gives me goosebumps!! i am so excited, thrilled, and gobsmacked, beyond belief, that i get to join y'all in march. the anchors have enveloped my heart since you first posted them. i have a copy on my bedroom wall and read them almost every day. thank you for sticking with the trial run, thank you for choosing to have another retreat, thank you 3 for being you. we are karmically entwined and id have it no other way! xoxoxo jennette